covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
