Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
