To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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