Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I want to stick my p in your. b.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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