My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize