If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
