So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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