Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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