True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
