Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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