He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
