Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
