I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
