Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Randomize
