winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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