We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
