But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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