i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just high enough for therapy.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
