also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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