I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
