This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
