I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
