just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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