oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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