it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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