It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize