his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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