What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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