I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
