I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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