Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
