hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
