whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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