Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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