I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
