You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
