i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
