herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
