I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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