Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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