Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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