I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
