my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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