So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
