Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
