so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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