Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
