i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
