Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize