At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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