So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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