It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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