A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize