I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
