..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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