I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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