Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
