You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
