Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
