The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
