so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
