Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
