You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You did what with his pubic hair?
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