If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
