WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
