Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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