we're blogging at a bar
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
